She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
