We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
