Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
