I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
