...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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