He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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