So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
