In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
