I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
