out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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