Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
