I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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