I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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