I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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