It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
