why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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