Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
