Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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