Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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