idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
