Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Randomize
