I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
