just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
