is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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