wrigley field is MILF paradise
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
