Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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