You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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