i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
