She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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