Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
