Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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