hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
