As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
