If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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