i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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