Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
