People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You don't make any sense
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