It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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