But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
