Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I understand Curling. That high.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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