I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
