Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
