I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
