he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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