nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
