Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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