I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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