hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
