chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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