His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
