my phone needs a breathalizer
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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