Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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