I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
