So drunk its hurt
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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