I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
