oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
ugly people sure do ruin things
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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