did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
home. puking in laundry basket.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
