Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
