of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
